They call it a “A nasty, freaky, and haphazardly funny horror story.” And once again they accuse me of “smoking something” to come up with this stuff. It’s like, come on — real authors mainline. Everybody knows that.
Thank God. Being a writer means having a tenuous balance between arrogance and self hatred. You have to be cocky enough to believe, apropos of nothing, that what comes out of your brain is worth putting into the brains of others. And yet you have to despise yourself enough to be able to reject the terrible premises, spot your own flaws, and edit that crap into something worth actually putting into your reader’s brain-holes.
So finishing a book is exhilarating: “Look what I have done! I’m so brilliant. I have birthed worlds and lives out of nothing! I AM A GOD!”
But it’s also terrifying: “Look what I have done. I’m an idiot, I slapped together a bunch of assholes out of cliches and adverbs. God forgive me.”
By the time I’m finished with a book, I know that it’s the best I can possibly do at that time. If I could do better, I would — I’d simply edit it further. But I have no idea if that means the book is, objectively, any good. That all depends on reader response, and I have to wait years to get that.
The few readers who’ve seen it have liked it, obviously some editors and agents liked it, and now here’s the first review, and it is good.
So I am a god. Until I’m an asshole again. It is the God/Asshole cycle of writing, and it is eternal.
Tor.com revealed the cover for my latest book today, and to call it awesome would be insulting. They need new words to describe how amazing this cover is. Alas, they would need a better writer than me. The best I can do is combine ‘fuck yes’ and ‘awe-struck’ and call it ‘awe-fucked.’
Poor Will, his art deserves better subject matter than I can provide.
Check out the actual post for some of the many unbelievably cool alternates we didn’t get to use. Choosing between them was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do — and I beat Mega Man II.
TOR GETS ‘UNNOTICED’ BY ROBERT BROCKWAY
In a second deal coming out of Tor this week, Paul Stevens bought Robert Brockway’s The Unnoticeables, at auction, in a three-book, six-figure deal. Brockway, who is a senior editor and columnist for Cracked.com, was represented by Sam Morgan at Jabberwocky Literary. The other two books acquired will be sequels to The Unnoticeables, and are currently untitled. Tor said the books are “hilarious urban fantasy novels” set in a world that pulls from New York’s punk scene in the 1970s as well as the modern-day Los Angeles entertainment industry. The Unnoticeables is tentatively scheduled for July 2015.
That’s right – THREE god damn books coming your way. I am going to literally crush you with an avalanche of my books*.
*Provided you are very small, and do not struggle too much.